T.M. Shannon

Hi everyone,

Yes, I’ve been quiet, and a lot of it has been anxiety about posting, but mainly because I’d gone overseas and had time differences to account for, so I didn’t seem overseas.

But it’s the things you should do when on holidays. Rather than posting anticipation about heading off, updates as you go off and hang out, taking photos and reviewing places. Best to leave the details until you get back – like the old days when you’d have to get your photos developed.

Don’t mind me, it’s part of the habits drilled into me at work, apart from constant password updates, remaining secure and keeping work with work. Hence why I won’t post about where I work, not even on socials. In all honesty, I love it.

So, rather than a usual religious topic (no time to prepare, only arriving back home yesterday), here’s a general post about a few things that happened.

The Most Important Things in My World

Sure, there’s putting God first. And indeed, I needed some divine assistance given I ended up going overseas on a shoestring needing cash available to pay the deposit for the hire car – last time, it was the value of the hire, so not looking good.

Turned out just $200, which was like, “Thanks, Guy!” Then I did have to pay for an upgrade as the car I picked didn’t have GPS which I needed, but it was in perspective. Still, lots of dollars spent, but the few photos I took and the time I got to spend with Important Thing 2a, my kid.

Sure, I Skype as often as I can when not every day. I take it as my duty to keep it up, which gets me down when I forget or get busy for a day.

And when I said, “Guess who’s coming to see you?” and had to mention it was someone my kid missed, then that it was me, they said, “But I don’t miss you, I’m seeing you now.”

Heartbroken? A little bit. Glad to know that my kid appreciates the level of contact and our conversations? You bet.

So, after a year and a half and about 24 hours of travel and layover, I got to hug my kid again – and at the early teenage years, found he’d grown to 2 inches shorter than me, but one inch difference because he has the broccoli haircut.

Yeah, the kids love the broccoli haircut. And yeah, I loved rustling his hair. Still, I want to shave it all off, but I love he has the freedom of choice (if I even dared suggested this haircut growing up, mum would kill me).

And as for other Gen Z foibles, I learnt what rizz and skibidi mean – that’s short for charisma (I don’t know if it’s the proper meaning or a new meaning, and a word meaning evil) – but I’m already versed in based and no cap.

I love it, considering as an Aussie we have our own slang, some of which passes the test of time, some of it determining how old you are.

But just those hugs are quite the reason to live. Spending time with him is the world – though we were in the hotel a bit, him on his iPad and me on my laptop. I gave him a go of Starfield and Skyrim, he’s a bit too used to tablet gaming, but he has a laptop now and starting up with mouse and keyboard.

Still, we went out for a lot of lunch and dinner, went to a small amusement park (the wooden rollercoaster is an intense ride, I loved it), I went on an excursion with him and his school class to a Coast Guard base, and got to have a talk to him about liking girls – he doesn’t care about dating at all.

But yeah, after saying goodbye at the airport, I got hit with the loss that I live so far away, my ex better positioned to care for him. But she has her family over there, the “little” one has his cousins to hang out with, and he has his few friends he FaceTimes with when they’re gaming.

Bittersweet at the end, and I felt time wasted during (including the days where I couldn’t wake up until 2pm), I’ve got some new photos around, and I know he appreciated all of it.

Still, it’s good to be home for Important Thing 2b, my darling partner and 100% support. She missed me, I missed her, and it was also great to get back on a proper mattress after sleeping on something very soft.

But I did my duties and brought some snacks home from Walmart, and she’s already gotten into the Chex Mix.

And the trip home? Excruciating tiredness, and over 20 hours of discomfort and wanting to get off the plane like crazy.

But oh, The Line Editing Woes

Yeah, I didn’t get very much done.

Mostly, I had my kid for a week straight because he was on school holidays, and I’m a very “lock away” and edit when it’s quiet and nobody around unless I’m at a cafe. But I got out a few days and sat in Starbucks for a bit and managed to get through to chapter 9.

But as for how it’s going? I’m not really feeling it, because I’m still in the first part to the act 2 midway cliffhanger, and I’ve already done this part. Mostly nothing is coming out, but a few things are going in, mainly action tags so you know who’s speaking, because I haven’t used, “He/She/They said.”

It’s adding to the word count, by standards I’m well over at 164k words – but considering I was over 200k words, it’s a world of improvement. Either way, I count by pages in a 6″ x 9″ format, and I’m at 483 pages down from 602 – again, world of improvement.

But it’s the issue with the book and wanting to go to as a two-parter, I’m basically two novellas stuck together. Split it in half at the cliffhanger, and things are perfectly balanced. Granted, I had intended to get to 500 pages to run as a single title, and I beat that, but, yeah, worried.

Not to mention I copped a dose of imposter syndrome and started pecking out the romance tropes I followed (impossible blonde for a start, the heel rise cliche after an intense smoochy session), and the differences in the two relationships that Cole experiences.

Then, pecking out whether I’m Golden Fleece or Rite of Passage (I was rite of passage from the start, and while there’s some Fleece about, I’m comfortable that Three Ways is definitely ROP), until I got to the point where I pecked out, “This is imposter syndrome.”

It’s not a fun thing, especially with the 10 years of blood, sweat, tears, bouts of blockage, and a major rewrite of the final third of the book. The low confidence, self-doubt, skill-doubt is deadening. Coupled to the editing woes, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

But as always, I keep going. I’ve found a few missing full stops, and that’s a good thing. And eventually I’ll be past the first half and into unedited territory, and I’m okay about getting there when I get there – not having deadlines is quite the boon to the bipolar addictive mind.

And Then There’s The Gaming Front

So, last year, my favourite game developer Bethesda Game Studios put Starfield out into the world, it’s first new IP after successes with The Elder Scrolls and taking over Fallout.

And… Yeah, I rated it 7.5 out of 10. There were some good story moments, the alien critters and inhospitable worlds gave me Morrowind vibes, I got stuck into scanning, and was doing okay with one of the faction questlines.

But… Okay, story wise, there was a poor-man’s Mass Effect vibe to it that just crashed and burned for me. The companions are horribly written with vapid or else annoying back stories, so much so that, once Creation mods went live, I wasn’t having any of them join me.

Plus, the crafting was all tied behind endgame MMO mining that I hate to see in a single player RPG (the other one I hated was the Minutemen faction in Fallout 4, having to keep building and defending outposts when you’re trying to live out of questing and dungeon delving).

There are other issues I have with Fallout 4 writing, and even with Skyrim and Oblivion, like terrible plot twists, subtlety and implication sometimes to a fault (don’t get me wrong, there are classic Bethesda gems in all of these games despite anything problematic of voice acting, etc.).

In short, things that were almost all gems in Morrowind and its real-time tabletop RPG feel had drifted out over time, and we ended up with the blandness of Starfield, at least in my opinion.

Then Creations landed, and I got the Galactic Junk Recycler, turning all the useless, low value junk items in the vanilla release into precious resources, and I got straight into crafting chems, modding guns and spacesuits, just like in Fallout 4. Life was good, and my game love skyrocketed.

But… There was a problem. Every time save files went into the mod folder, I had the white building issues, where distant buildings were stark white and immersion breaking. And being in-game Creations, I couldn’t do the fix as with Nexus mods, so I reverted back to vanilla.

At least this got the REV-8 vehicle working, and exploration made soooo much quicker than running around everywhere. That, and I started playing the game shoot and loot, having a lot of fun.

But… Shattered Space. OMG, I was not caring from the first quest, muscled through it to get the expansion questline going, only to wind up with an un-openable door in front of a quest giver (plus I’d already heard of the empty story and seen a few of the unfavourable steam reviews).

And that was it. I deleted the game from my computer and went straight back to Skyrim. It’s not working out for the best, and I’ve made request for a Steam voucher for my birthday to get Baldur’s Gate 3 and delve back into a D&D game – I’m hanging out already, exactly one month to go.

I did get Dungeons & Dragons online yesterday (free MMORPG), but it’s very dated graphics for 2012, and I’m not terribly keen on it though it’s okay-done real-time combat. I tried a bit of Neverwinter Nights but it’s not doing it for me.

But it’s put me back onto my burner fantasy idea, and I’ve spent the morning on my setup file so I’m good to go without referring to some physical material. I won’t say more, but it’s an ambitious project and I hope the way I’m going to control it helps it stand out as a future title.

And With That, Au Revoir Until Next Time

Not bad for not having topics to go to, winding up with a 11-minute read. And yeah, I have nothing further to add.

So, sorry I missed posting last week, but things are back to normal so I can get back into gear. I’ll catch you for my weekday posts, the Wednesday WordPress prompt, and anything else I like or repost on ye olde FB.

As always, whoever, wherever, and whatever you are, I hope you have a good one, and if not I hope you can make it through.

Laters.

T. M.