T.M. Shannon

Hi everyone,

Yes, it’s been a quiet one on the social media front, courtesy of health scares, being tired, crazy dreams not permitting as much rest, all the joys that go with med adjustments and not going for a remedial massage.

What’s that last bit? Well, I’ve had neck and shoulder muscle pain for last couple of weeks, that combined with stressing myself out by mad vaping led to chest pains that felt like a heart attack. Yikes.

At least today I feel refreshed, and it’ll be a normal Sunday with going shopping, and I’m sure I’ll have the energy to finish my last chapter tomorrow.

So, what to talk about this Mental Health/Addiction post day, given I don’t have a plan and zero research to back anything up?

Nope, Nothing, Sorry

I thought with an adaption/critique of R U OK? Day this Thursday, as I have misgivings about the organisation being very light on the mental illness front, and the stories don’t show someone who has faced suicide ideation/attempts and come out the other side.

To whit, the suggested 3rd step “Encouraging Action,” don’t cover the realities of facing mental illness – getting a diagnosis from a doctor, a psychiatrist/psychologist, just how long of a wait it can be to see a psych (it can be 6 months at least here in Oz).

Also, the hamfisted, “When I was going through a difficult time, I tried this… You might find it useful too.” – DO NOT DO THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS, FACED BLEAK THOUGHTS, EXPERIENCE IN TREATMENT, OR UNDERSTANDING MEDS AND THERAPY DON’T ALWAYS WORK.

Sorry, I’ll take a breath on that, but someone not okay probably doesn’t need you talking yourself up if you’re not familiar with what’s going on.

I thought of showing the ropes, but largely the R U OK? steps and the program fosters practicing empathy, creating environments for someone to step forward and say they’re not okay, being people open to future questions if now isn’t a good time or the person isn’t ready yet.

I got a nice diatribe out of it, as well as showing the brave face and keeping your mental illness secret and safe (and definitely not bringing it up in an interview or when asked in an application – stigma is a real, painful thing).

But, I’ll keep it to Know Thy Services before you ask someone if they’re okay – like Lifeline or Beyond Blue. I’ve also found Mayo Clinic to be a great resource understanding my own illnesses despite being in Oz and not the US.

And there’s good old Wikipedia to get a real grasp of what’s going on in certain illnesses.

Also, do some research on the topics brought up, or pre-empting that with learning what goes on in depression and anxiety, while at the same time not overwhelming yourself now until the person has a diagnosis.

Oh, and don’t forget the value of physical activity and being outside in the sun (especially early morning). It could be a struggle for someone depressed, but a social date to walk together might be beneficial

And that’s all I got.

Could I Be in a Depressed State?

Maybe I am.

Granted, being stuck in Emergency for 13 hours, and me sleeping for the next 14 hours after being released, isn’t exactly a sign of depression.

Plus, I figured after the first ECG and Heart Tracing blood test, if I wasn’t getting dragged into the Cardiac wing, things were probably not so concerning.

I swapped a med around to taking it wholly at night, and that has me having very let’s say interesting dreams, and the more vivid the dreams, the less I rest.

I went to D&D Thursday night, home by 23:30, then a short sleep and off to the Drs for an 09:00 appointment. I crashed back out at midday and stayed in bed the rest of the day and night except popping out for dinner.

The partner and I haven’t been shopping properly in three weeks what with Sunday things to do and a Monday where I was also knocked off my feet and in bed at midday.

And I mentioned quitting the vapes. I got back from the station to go shopping without stopping by the shops where I can buy vapes, though I was feeling the sting.

I’m okay and subdued now, but it’s bound to hit again tomorrow after my counselling session, a vape shop nearby. I just have to avoid it and go and write, and hopefully finish this last chapter – don’t even know why it’s so stressful for me!

But I haven’t missed my meds, I went to my 12-Step meeting today, I hopefully won’t be in a place to crash out tomorrow at midday and make Church (and Confession) and my other meeting.

I could be dicey trying to adjust diet while having a mood stabiliser that increases appetite vying for attention. At least I turned down the jellybeans left on my desk last weekend, and I’m back on Coke No Sugar.

I’m managing. I’m not okay, I’ll never be okay much less normal, but I’m okay with that, I have support from the darling other half, and someone at work is always checking on me and has picked out when I’m in a rough patch.

And I actually might leave it there.

I’ll Try for a Topic Next Time, Promise!

It’s probably for the best, along with making time to actually write my blogs and not hope for being in a good mood Saturday nights after work.

And I just realised this was meant to be a queer topic week. Oh well, swapped around posts it is (it really has been a trying week).

Wherever you are, however you feel, I hope you’re okay, and if you’re not okay, firstly you’re allowed to not be okay, and secondly don’t be afraid to seek help from safe, empathetic people.

There are plenty of crisis lines and services around, and if you’re in immediate danger of harm/have already harmed yourself, call for emergency services.

Take care all,

T. M.